i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
