New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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