oh good, I think they're gone
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper