Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.