he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i've created a new STD.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
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