Do you still have your period?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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