cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
