If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize