Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
