lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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