omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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