I wish life had little blips of pornography
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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