im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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