Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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