You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
