their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
