oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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