I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I think people are normalizing furries
my penis made a compromise with my morals
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
