no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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