Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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