soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
