That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
