You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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