If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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