shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize