I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
