I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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