Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
