Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
