I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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