I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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