Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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