'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
