the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
