This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
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I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
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I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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