help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
