I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
