Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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