Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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