Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
