Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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