My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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