Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
