She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
the day after is always just damage control
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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