I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
