i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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