Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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