Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
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When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Also, beer. Big fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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