who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
