sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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