It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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