Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i now understand why vodka
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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