bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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