Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
