Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Come see our sink grown plant.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize