why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
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