Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
