Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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