I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
