Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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