Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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