Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
