I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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